3 Tips to Release Pain From Your Life

Have you ever had someone get mad at you for something but you had no idea what the purpose was?

If you are a human, this would likely be a feeling that is a default experience to living.  Because of our ego-driven human nature, people are always bound to feel anger, frustration, guilt, depression, etc. at some point.  Of course depending on our own unique personalities and strengths and weaknesses for this life, the way we experience it can vary.  For instance, in my case I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve really felt “anger” towards a person.  Frustration? Sure.  Guilt?  Definitely. But anger?  It’s a bit of a foreign concept to me.

However, regardless of whether we experience anger, guilt, frustration, stress, etc. they are all negative secondary emotions and they all lead back to the same primary emotion: Pain.

Now, the way that we experience pain is quite interesting, as this is something that occurred to me over an experience this weekend.   The reality is this:  Pain is a recycled energy.  When we experience pain, the initial pain that we have felt was often given to us by someone.  Perhaps it was the pain of a parent or teacher from childhood.  Perhaps there is pain rooted from an argument with an old friend.  Regardless of the source, once we have that pain channeled to us we must let it go at that exact point in time.  If we do not, then we continue to carry this pain with us and continue the cycle by channeling this negative energy onto others — which can certainly keep us in a stagnant cycle of holding negative energies in our lives.

So how can a person break free of these negative energies?

1.  Always cry — and I mean ALWAYS.  This is something that so many of us have learned not to do because it is so often not considered “appropriate” in society.  The reason is because often times people are still in an ego-driven mentality of “Oh your crying and that’s weak so I’m better than you” even though they are clearly angry and are holding on to pain at their core as well.  The truth is that crying is a reflection of that core pain.  When we  allow ourselves to cry immediately we can feel ourselves from repressing and holding on to that pain.  Instead of telling yourself “crying is inappropriate” or  “crying is only for babies” allow yourself to fully feel that pain in that moment.  You’ll ultimately feel better and you’ll notice that it actually feels more natural.  Of course, if you are concerned about the place that you are in, then I recommend finding a quiet place where you can be alone for a while to cry and let it out.

2.  Pray for guidance and help.  This is another thing that is interesting about human nature.  We recycle this pain and then express it onto others by choosing not to believe in things that we cannot see with our eyes or be proven through science.  Yet, in the most painful moments most everyone will find themselves in prayer.  Why?  Because it is only natural for us to know that the only path we can follow that can free ourselves from the pain in the world is through the spirit.  Its an unconscious knowing, though our conscious minds don’t always want to believe it.

3.  Forgive.  Though we may choose to cry and pray when experiencing pain, if we do not forgive ourselves and others then we still have not freed ourselves.  What we have to mentally understand and tell ourselves in these moments of pain is to keep these  two thoughts in mind:

  • The person who hurt me did not know any better.  They were likely blocked by their own beliefs, repressed hurts, and ego-drives.  Also, the more you are able to logically understand what is going on within that person via empathy and knowledge, the easier it is to let go of any hurt, because by understanding you are not, in turn, reacting out of your ego.
  • I did not know any better at that point in time.   We are always evolving and learning.  If we were not and did everything perfectly, then we wouldn’t be living right now.  The only way that a person could possibly diffuse all or any pain expressed to them from someone else would be if that person is enlightened…. which, very few actually attain and sustain.  Therefore, there is no reason to allow yourself to hold on to any guilt.  You can simply tell yourself “Well now I see the importance of my spiritual growth — I can learn to diffuse it all together so I can truly help that person.”



About Jennifer Twardowski

Jennifer is a graduate student in transpersonal counseling psychology. Her interests are in personality typology (MBTI, Enneagram, Jungian typology), expressive arts, dreams, yoga, tarot and oracle cards, world religions, dance, photography, gardening, floral design, and more!

Posted on August 6, 2012, in Emotions, Happiness, Mind, Pain and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. Very nice post. Thanks for following my blog, I’m following yours too 🙂

  2. Hi Jennifer,

    I’ve given you the Reader Appreciation Award. Click the link below to read about the award and decide if you want to accept it:


  3. Great post!!!! I’m starting to realize that when I get angry it has so much more to do with me than the other person. I am currently tracing my anger back to my patents/ childhood. A lot of times when my buttons are pushed it has something to do with chips (suppressed anger) on my shoulders that I have developed through the years. I am now realizing how important it is to release anger as it occurs. Thank You!!!! I wanna reblog this.

    • What a cycle isn’t it? Glad to see you’re working through it! I’ve learned it’s so much better to just try to release it at that very moment than to do it years later after so much suppression. Thanks for reblogging! 🙂

  4. Reblogged this on Inward Onward : Looking Within & Moving On and commented:
    Great post on releasing pain and anger from your life. I am learning how important it is to feel the pain/ anger/ emotion, express it, and then release it. Try not to suppress the negative energy. Doing so will cause more pain, anxiety, disease, and discord. Anger is a powerful emotion that can change you. Be kind to yourself and release it.

  5. wonderful, wonderful, post! thank you for sharing!!

  6. Hello its Stacie from Dancing in the Rain, bringing you an award! I have nominated you for the Sunshine Award! Congratulations and keep up the good work! To find out more about the award and to accept go to my blog: Dancing in the Rain. Thanks 🙂

  1. Pingback: 4 Guidelines to Break the Co-Dependency Cycle for Good « Lotus Tarot Blossom

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